How to get the audience to unsubscribe to your emails?

I don’t know about you, but my internet marketing quest has taken me to places I did not think existed. As a result of all that I can proudly say that I know more negatives of the “standard/recommended way to market stuff over internet”, more ways to annoy people, and more ways of making your subscribers get away from you.
I have mentioned about email lists before. Not quite my preferred means of communication, but people seem to like it, some people click on emails rather than spend time on feeds or social media, people use emails many things things – hence using that channel cannot be wrong. I totally get it. But once you acquire subscribers, I don’t understand why some (otherwise smart) people go about alienating them.

courtesy: jean pierre gallot @ flickr

In my search to know and learn more about writing, content marketing and a bit of selling, I subscribed to emails from a lot of sites – more sites than what you can consider healthy. I was forced to subscribe to more than a few since the website owners seemed to think that email is the best and only communication channel. A few others promised thousands of dollars worth of goodies, others promised that I will achieve nirvana and so on. Though my preferred update channel is my feed, I still went about did that since I wanted to know why email marketing is considered one of the best channels ever and how apparently successful marketers do it. While in the process of going through that, I have collected some gems on what to do when you want to loose your subscribers – fast! Without further ado, let us get on with the list.

1. Have HTML emails, which try to put out some banners, images and the like while the user tries to read it. Who does not like a big fat, colourful email that seems to show the whole world?
2. Have generous ads in the emails. Users deserve ads
3. Try to generalize content and use language bordering on spam, so that:
• you can test spam filters in multiple email providers
• try to reach the spam folder safely so that users do not even come to know of the email
4. Have no context to what you are trying to sell. Oh yes, users are surely be overcoming with curiosity to go find out more
5. Before even knowing the user, start blasting some upsells. You have your sales funnel to watch and just cannot wait for the user to get comfortable. Upsell from the very first email, try to get them buy more even before trying out your first "product”. You never know whether they will come back
6. Pump up emails. Yes, users are going to be amazed by the email content generation machine that you have become
7. Make emails personal. Not personal as in “address me by first name”, but start narrating just how much you love your beautiful family as a technology update
8. Try to pass on an affiliate link or two for completely unrelated products - you want to try your luck just one more time

That is all there is to it folks. Do you have any good examples of what to do in emails to get your users hate you?
Before I sign off though, there are more than a couple of examples that are not following the above “proven” methods. I not only subscribe to them wholeheartedly, but the emails become a welcome read after the tiring work of going through the feeds of the day :)

• Emails from copyblogger. You don’t expect anything but the best from them
• Emails from viperchill. Thank you Glen!
• Emails from Pat Flynn of smartpassiveincome are lengthy but absolutely readable and full of information